Hi Friends, that first part of the title is a Haruki Murakami reference. Have you guys read his book: “What I Talk About when I Talk About Running”? Ahh, so good. Go to your local library and take it out. I promise, you won’t regret it.
Ok, bread. This is me free-stylin’ a little bit. I haven’t written in far too long. So hear me out. Thanks for your patience.
Each week I seem to go back and forth between three worlds. On one hand, there is a world of “yes, I can.” This world tends to be purely optimistic and encouraging, but often ehhh, pretty short-lived. I may say something like “wow, I actually baked this myself. Holy crap. That’s amazing.” Ultimately I may not remember how I actually achieved that bake, but nevertheless.
And then the next bake/next world I fail in some way, usually with over or underproofing, where I curse and am annoyed, and full of blah. After hemming and hawing for a few, I am back to square one again. Luckily enough for me, I am normally a fairly optimistic person, so my time in this world is pretty brief.
Thirdly, there is this really cool zen-like world when I get so into the zone that I forget about judging myself or the situation and I just breathe the dough.
Beeeeeeeeee the doughhhh.
No seriously, though. That is the best feeling in the world. I think this is why I keep baking. Even when I have to pause and take a break for a few months, it still lures me back. And then I feel that dough on my hands and it’s like hugging an old friend.
There you are…Some weeks I feel like crap, others like I don’t have a clue, and then sometimes I actually realize how much fun it is and how much joy it brings me, and I get to sit in that space for a little while. Do you know what I mean? No matter what world I am in, I have made 1,000 plus loaves of bread in my home oven! That’s wild!
But — perhaps, most importantly, when all is said and done…the reality is, it is not about me. If there is anything that 2017 has taught me, it is this:
It is about us. Moving forward. It is about us. It’s about teaching one another, building eachother up, breaking bread with one another. Really looking at one another. Putting our phones down. Having a conversation in present time. Loving one another. And this bread that I make? In the end it is really about being of service to the community.
In the quiet moments, in that rare in-between Zen place, I come to realize: is that not why we are all here? Not to get all existential on ya’ll, but really. Is it not?
Happy New Year, friends. What are you planning on baking more of this year? I for one am going to focus on this “service” aspect of Bread Culture. I hope to combine my holistic practice of Eastern Medicine and herbal medicine with my love for teaching bread workshops. So stay tuned. I cannot promise more writing, especially with a 16 month old (LOVE) and a busy practice. Although I will try.
What about you? Please tell me. I love to hear what you are up to! Big love to you, my bread family!!
ps. this image was a free image I found online. It is not my bread. It is not my hands. I think that’s why I like it so much. It speaks volumes to me about sharing circular loaves of nourishment with eachother, with strangers.